So much to do!

Life as a mother is definitely a full time job, now add in pumping and a bad case of PPD along with being a full time student and any sane person would probably rip their hair out. I've definitely come close but I try my best to stay positive because I know that the PPD will eventually fade and I WILL get my schoolwork done in time so that I can take the whole summer off and enjoy it. Now on top of just my motherly duties I also feel like I should be cleaning and cooking and keeping things organized. I am having a VERY difficult time doing this, in fact my place in that area is pretty much non existent. I'm going to try my best this week to get some stuff done though, I'm hoping to maybe get some schoolwork done today even if its just a small assignment or some reading, anything is better than nothing.
My doctors appt went okay yesterday, I've had to start new antidepressants which sucks hardcore as I didn't want to have to take anything, it makes me feel defeated that I need these pills in order to get better but this way is much better than the alternative. I'm hoping the transition to this new medication is smooth as it can be quite tricky. I also had to start taking Motillium to increase my milk supply as my herbs are not cutting it and I am no longer producing enough for Zephran, I'm hoping it works as I want to pump until he is at least 8 months old if not longer, I still have some hope that he will breastfeed once he has his surgery to repair the cleft.
He is growing up so fast, I cannot believe he is already 4 months old, that he coo's all the time, that he can roll over from tummy to back and a swack of other things that make me an overly excited mom! I cant wait till it is warm enough so I can take him for walks outside, good for him and wonderful exercise for me as well. I really wish I had time to go to the gym 3 times a week, an hour break for me to work out my stress and feel better in the long run. Maybe in the future this will be a possibility but right now its not and that's okay!
I got on the scale today and my weight has gone down by 5 pounds, whether that's actually true who knows because it seems to fluctuate regularly. I am back on the eating right bandwagon because I need to go to weigh in next week.
My dad's wedding was on Monday, it was a beautiful ceremony, small but wonderful and I am proud to say I didn't even shed a tear, though I came close many a times BUT i didn't so I'm proud haha. They even gave Zephran a little suit to wear, seriously cutest thing ever!
I'm also very excited for my massage tomorrow, I definitely need the break and have had a kink in my neck for a few days that needs to be worked out, I'm hoping for a good beating!
Well it's pumping time so I am off!