0 Changes

There are many changes happening in my life right now. I am in the process of a life revamp you could say. I have been on a new diet and have lost around 15 pounds and counting, not really noticeable but its a start so that's all that matters. I am also moving next week with Zephran into our own place, its a long story that I don't need to get into but Dean and I need our own time to grow and better our relationship, pregnancy and babies change things, whether you have a strong relationship or not or if your ready for a baby or not things change. I have all the hope in the world that this time apart will help us see what we want and that we will work through it. I know for me its helped open my eyes and has made me want independence more than ever.

I have been contemplating the idea of returning to nursing school in January. I figure that I wont be doing midwifery school anytime soon because it is so unbelievably hard to get into and its in Calgary and there is no way in hell i am going to move there right now or within the next year or two. If i get my nursing degree then I can do a transfer into midwifery once they have that option available which they are working on. I have started nursing so why not finish it. I know I am smart and if I apply myself and work hard I can damn well do anything I set my mind to. The key to success is being my own motivator, whether I have support or not I think this is what I am going to do. I need to start living for me and making decisions for me and Zephran and no one else, plus I know I'd make a damn good nurse. I could even use my doula skills within nursing if I worked labour and delivery. There are so many options for me out there to do what I want. No more lazy I don't care Kaitlin, its time to nut up or shut up.

I have been spending a whole lot less time on the computer and more time with Zephran, he helps me motivate myself and he is growing up so fast. I cant believe he will be a year old next month. He is furniture walking and loves to stand up, next thing you know and he'll be walking, my little baby isn't so little anymore! His surgery date has been booked for October 21st, that makes me soooo nervous. I just cannot even fathom handing him over and him having to be stuck in a hospital again. I know he will be fine though and will come out stronger and healthier.

We had an awesome time in Drumheller meeting Sara and her family. Her oldest daughter loved Zephran and kept giving him hugs and kisses, seriously the most adorable thing ever, it was just nice to meet someone who has been there for me the past 19 months or so and who believes the same things I do and doesn't thing I'm a whack job for believing those things haha.

Anyways I need to pump and get some sleep. Oh yes I am still pumping for Zephran, its been almost 11 months and I plan on going till at least after his surgery, wish me luck. Until next time!