Insomnia

Ahh insomnia, it has become a very close friend of mine since struggling with PPD. I do not enjoy our friendship at all. It is after midnight and I feel exhausted, yet I feel wide awake, like I could possibly run a marathon if I was actually in shape enough to do so. So I figure since I'm awake, why not blog to get thing off my mind.

I received news today, very heartbreaking news. My aunt Erna, well technically great aunt but none the less someone who I love dearly and have spent much time with since she moved to this city, was back in the hospital. She has had quite a few health problems lately from joint pain and emphysema to stomach issues. She was in the hospital a few weeks ago and was doing quite well while there and was eating and keeping it down and seemed to be in good spirits, after getting out she went to stay with my Grandma and wasn't doing all to well. Her son and daughter were down to talk about a care facility which I also believe she thought was a good idea because she hates being alone. Well she ended up back in hospital last night from throwing up and not feeling to good with new medications if I'm correct. In the middle of the night she got up to go to the washroom and did not call a nurse and ended up falling and breaking her hip. This news is devastating as statistics are highly against her health, they also were checking this evening for a broken wrist. Unfortunately they cannot fix anything until they stabilize her sodium levels as they are low. If and when they do the surgery to repair her hip it can go one of two ways: a) if the bone is to thin, they do a complete hip replacement which involves general anesthetic or b) if the bone is thick enough they will put in a plate and screws and pins and such and will give her a spinal, the thought of her being awake for that is enough to make me vomit however general anesthetic is detrimental to her health at her age. It's so sad though. My Grandma has cared for her and spent so much time with her and they have grown very close since she moved here, I worry so much for my Grandmas health because of the stress she is under. It's just not a nice situation to deal with and its depressing. I hope it all works out in the end.

On a happier note we had a good time at our friends house this evening and I'm up to pumping 32oz today, its a complete relief to not have to unfreeze milk and worry all the time about where his next feed will come from.

I think that once or twice a week I am going to choose a topic to write about, and somewhat debate my reasoning's for believing in said topic. These will most likely be things I have faced personally or that pertain to pregnancy/labour/parenting. I can see it being slightly controversial but I think it may educate some people as well as be a good learning experience for myself in the sense of learning how to write what I believe and not be to judgy or offensive! Anyways I should really try and sleep since milk monster will be waking up early! Until next time.