A New Day

It's day two of new medication. Not a fun time. Normally I am not affected by medications, I usually never experience bad side effects but since Ive now started new antidepressants and the motillium to increase milk I feel like Ive been hit by a semi. Symptoms include: pounding headache, dry mouth and an upset stomach with cramps, OH JOYYYY! I stay positive though knowing this is helping me int he long run and I feel like the motillium is working because I got up and pumped 12 oz where as i was only getting 9 before so we are doing good so far. Antidepressants take awhile to kick in but for now I am doing okay, I have bad moments and good moments, I just need to keep my head up and I know I'll get through this!

Zephran is growing up so fast. I went through some of his clothes and I cannot believe that I am going to already have to bust out his storage bin of clothes and go through them all to decide what will fit him now. His smiles make my day, I could go on and on because I am a very proud mama and I love this little boy more than anything in this world! I have still been trying to put him to breast to see if he will breastfeed, its very hit and miss, sometimes he will try and others he will not. I still hold out hope that he will breastfeed after his cleft palate surgery, even if he doesn't that's okay because he will have still gotten my breast milk! My granny told me I should let him touch his bottle so he knows that's where milk come from but I don't like that idea, I want him to know that milk comes from his mama, not a bottle. Big pet peeve for me is babies holding their own bottles, definitely not gonna happen for us as that's my job as a mother, I think feel this way because Zephran doesn't breastfeed directly. Zephran has a developmental appt next week where they check his development, I'm a bit nervous for it, I shouldn't be because he is developing fine but I'm just a paranoid mom. I really hope they don't bring up vaccinations either because we've chosen to delay/not vaccinate. So far we haven't been bugged which is wonderful. He gets him immunities from me and well the additives in immunizations are crazy. We decided not to immunize because of the chance of a reaction to the immunization. No I don't think immunizations give you autism lol.

I am excited that I get to go out tonight with my mom! We are going to see STOMP which should be fantastic, nothing like a bunch of people beating on garbage cans haha. I am also very excited for my massage on Saturday. I don't like leaving Zephran, in fact it gives me a mini panic attack thinking about it. I do however need some me time, even if it just a bubble bath. I'm his mom, I don't think I should have to leave him even though people insist I should go out and take me time. Anyways milk monster is hungry so until next time!