Above the clouds

Well the last post was quite depressing if I do say so myself. I am feeling much better however so this post will be much more positive! I realized that I was in a rut which is the first step to fixing things. My PPD is slowly getting better and I realized I cannot let it hold me back and even if I feel like curling up in a hole I cannot, I need to get up and get shit done and motivate myself. I started taking a b complex vitamin and I've noticed a bit of improvement in energy levels and mood. I also seen my doctor today and we discussed my meds and how they were working for me. A few months ago I had talked about switching antidepressants to cipralex, well it does work however one thing I noticed is a HUGE drop in motivation and energy, as well as mood swings or just pure bitchiness and withdrawing from social interaction. My doctor informed me that coming off wellbutrin which is a mood stabilizer and going onto cipralex which is not a mood stabilizer will do that, needless to say we are starting the wellbutrin again at a low dose to stabilize my moods and see how that goes. Some people are very against medications however I am not. I know for me they do work and that herbs and vitamins don't fix my depression, it sucks but my mental health plays a huge role in my physical health as well as my day relationships.

I am also being very conscious of what I have been eating and how much as well and my weight is no longer going up but going down. It is going down slowly which is okay with me, I know that it wont happen fast and that with pumping my body will hold onto some weight in order to make sure my milk supply stays good. Its finally nice out so walking everyday is definitely going to be a goal of mine for this summer.

We are almost all packed and are all ready to move, its exciting yet kinda makes me nervous that we will have a house and more space and more bills in a sense. Its going to be awesome though to have a yard and space and I'm excited to have a garden.

All in all things are looking up, I am positive and I am going to do my best to make my life awesome. I didn't realize how much my issues affected my relationship with Dean and how shitty I was making him feel. I never want to jeopardize my relationship with him when I can better myself and our relationship instead! I love my family more than anything and I would do anything for them. Anywho its pumping time and then I am gonna bake some muffins! Until next time!